I am not a person to hold grudges but I have to admit that I am still hurt by her. I am hurt that she barely spoke to me for a year after I had my daughter because she thinks so little of me that she was angry that I had a baby. She felt that I did not deserve to have a child when she did not have one yet. I didn't make all the right choices like she did or take the path she chose. The thing of it is she has screwed up a lot. I don't judge her for her choices and I just want her to be happy. I am excited when something good happens in her life and she is jealous when something great happens in mine that she thinks she deserves more than me. Am I so wrong in thinking that is messed up?!
I know I am not perfect by any means but I would like to at the very least be respected by my sister and somehow I know that will never happen. One of the reasons I feel so alone living out here in the middle of nowhere is that I don't even have anyone to call to talk to about things. I can't call my sister and expect to have a real conversation where she does not pick on me. Heck I can't even call and expect her to not be to busy with other things to pick up...
Here is to all the younger sisters who feel like their sister never wanted them to be around. (Before I was born my sister asked my mom for kittens instead.)
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