I have come to a season in my life where I am not my best friend's best friend...   I do not get out much and my friend moved quite a ways away until just recently and made a lot of other new friends around her.  Honestly she always has had a lot of other friends around her that she put first.  I do not go out if I do not ask to go out, meaning I am never invited.  I have always had trouble keeping close friends and I know that some of it probably has to do with my overzealous personality.  I know that I talk a little to much and that has been a problem ever since I was young.

One of the other main issues I have is that I am also usually a better friend to my friends than they are to me.  I am there when they need me, I remember birthday and Christmas gifts.  The girl who I have called my best friend for the last several years simply always tells me mine is in the mail, or she forgot it at home then it is never spoken of again.  It is rather depressing to not even be important enough to someone for them to get you a card on your birthday when you consider them to be the person you are closest to.

She used to answer all my texts and e-mails, but never my calls.  I have seen her answer other people's calls when I am with her so I know she picks up the phone for some people.  I know it is time to stop calling her my best friend and move on but it is very hard to just pick up and find new friends at my age.  I guess I am just sad and not wanting to let go but it actually makes me choke up to think about dropping the effort I have been making start anew.  It is hard to be surrounded by people and still be very lonely.

I guess looking back I was never my best friend's best friend anyway...